When someone in your family is struggling with memory loss, it can be confusing and even a little scary—especially if you’re a kid or teenager. Whether it’s a grandparent, a parent, or another relative, seeing someone you love forget things or act differently is tough. But understanding what’s happening and knowing how to deal with it can make things easier.
Here’s a simple guide to help you understand what’s going on and how to handle it.
What is Memory Loss?
Memory loss is when someone starts forgetting things, and it’s often a part of something called dementia. This condition makes it hard for people to remember things, think clearly, or even do everyday tasks. It mostly happens to older people, like grandparents, but it can affect others too.
Common things you might notice include:
- Forgetting names or important dates.
- Asking the same questions over and over.
- Getting confused about time or place.
- Having trouble finding the right words.
How to Understand What’s Happening
It’s important to remember that your family member isn’t forgetting things on purpose. Their brain is changing, and they can’t control it. This might make them act in ways that seem strange or different, but they’re still the same person you love.
Sometimes, memory loss might make them feel frustrated, sad, or even angry because they know they’re forgetting things. That’s why patience is so important.
Ways You Can Help
Even though memory loss is difficult, there are things you can do to help and make life a little easier for both you and your family member. Here are some ways you can help:
- Be Patient: When they forget something or ask the same question again, try to stay calm. Remember, it’s not their fault.
- Talk Slowly and Clearly: Sometimes it helps to slow down when talking, or break things into simple steps if they’re having trouble understanding.
- Use Photos and Memories: You can show them old pictures or talk about fun memories to help them feel more connected to the past.
- Keep Routines: People with memory loss do better with routines. If you’re spending time with them, try doing things the same way every time—like playing a favorite game or going for a walk at the same time each day.
- Help Around the House: If you notice that your family member is having trouble with everyday tasks, like setting the table or organizing things, offer to help. It can be a small but meaningful way to show your support.
How to Take Care of Your Own Feelings
Dealing with memory loss in a family member can be tough on you, too. You might feel sad, frustrated, or even worried about the future. It’s okay to have these feelings! Here’s how to take care of yourself:
- Talk About It: Sharing your feelings with a trusted adult—like a parent, teacher, or counselor—can help you feel better. Sometimes just saying how you feel can make a big difference.
- Write in a Journal: If you’re not comfortable talking about it, try writing down your thoughts in a journal. It’s a great way to express what you’re feeling without having to share it out loud.
- Join a Support Group: Some schools or communities have support groups where kids and teens can talk about what it’s like to have a family member with memory loss. Being around others who understand can make you feel less alone.
- Do Things You Enjoy: It’s important to still have fun and do things you love, like playing sports, hanging out with friends, or drawing. This can help take your mind off the hard stuff for a while.
Finding Comfort in Family and Friends
You don’t have to go through this alone. Talk to your family about what’s going on—they’re probably feeling the same way you are. Spend time with friends who make you feel happy, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
If your family member is having a hard day, it’s okay to take a break and do something for yourself. Helping them is important, but so is taking care of you.
Remember: You’re Not Alone
Many kids and teens have family members with memory loss. It’s hard, but by understanding what’s happening, being patient, and taking care of your own feelings, you can make things easier. The love you have for your family member doesn’t change—even if their memory does.
If you ever need more help or have questions, talk to an adult you trust or visit websites like the Pamela R. Bowren Foundation for resources and support. They’re here to help families dealing with memory loss and provide ways to cope.
Memory loss can be challenging, but with love, patience, and the right support, you and your family can get through it together. Stay strong, and remember that your feelings are important, too!