As a parent, you want to teach your children how to care for their loved ones, especially when those loved ones are going through tough times. If your elderly family member has dementia, it’s important to guide your child in understanding what’s happening and how to respond with kindness and patience.
In this article, we’ll discuss ways to help your child better understand dementia and how they can treat their elderly family members with respect and compassion.
1. Start by Explaining Dementia in Simple Terms
The first step in helping your child treat their family member with dementia kindly is to help them understand what dementia is in a way they can grasp. Use simple language and examples they can relate to.
For example, you can say:
“Dementia is something that makes Grandpa’s brain work a little differently. It can make him forget things, get confused, or act in ways that seem strange, but it’s not his fault.”
Let them know that their family member still loves them and enjoys spending time together, even though they may forget things or act differently.
2. Encourage Patience and Kindness
Patience is key when dealing with someone with dementia. Teach your child that it’s important to be gentle, even if their elderly family member forgets their name or asks the same questions over and over. Remind them that frustration won’t help the situation.
You can explain:
“Grandma might forget things more easily now, so we have to be patient and not get upset if she doesn’t remember something. It helps to stay calm and talk nicely to her.”
Simple practices like smiling, speaking calmly, and being kind will make both your child and the family member feel more comfortable.
3. Teach Through Role-Playing
Children often learn best through practice and play. You can use role-playing as a way to show your child how to interact with their elderly family member.
For example, you can act out a scenario where the family member forgets something, and you show your child how to respond. Demonstrate how to:
- Use a calm tone of voice.
- Repeat themselves if needed, without sounding frustrated.
- Offer help, like guiding the family member to sit down or reminding them where things are.
After the role-play, ask your child how they felt and what they learned from the practice.
4. Help Them Stay Positive
Sometimes, children may feel sad or confused by the changes they see in their loved ones. Help them focus on the positive aspects of spending time together. Remind them that, even though their family member may not remember everything, they still enjoy the time spent with their grandkids.
Encourage your child to:
- Do activities they’ve always enjoyed with their family member, like drawing, playing a simple game, or watching a favorite movie.
- Share stories, even if their family member doesn’t always respond.
- Ask questions and involve their family member in conversations, even if the responses are different than before.
You can explain:
“Even if Grandpa doesn’t remember everything, he still loves spending time with you. Just being there with him makes him happy.”
5. Teach Respect and Dignity
It’s important to teach your child that their family member with dementia deserves the same level of respect and dignity as anyone else, even if they need extra help. Children should learn to avoid treating the elderly family member like a baby or talking down to them.
Help your child understand that:
- It’s okay to offer help, but always ask first: “Grandma, do you need help with this?”
- Speak to their family member like they would any adult, with respect and care.
- Even if their family member can’t respond the same way, they should still be treated with kindness.
You can say:
“Grandma is still a grown-up, even if she forgets things sometimes. We need to respect her and talk to her like we always have.”
6. Answer Their Questions Honestly
Your child may have questions or concerns about what’s happening. It’s important to answer these questions honestly, but in an age-appropriate way.
Some common questions you might hear are:
- “Why does Grandma keep forgetting things?”
- “Will Grandpa get better?”
- “Does Grandma still remember me?”
You can answer with simple explanations, like:
“Grandma’s memory isn’t working the same way it used to, so she forgets things sometimes. It doesn’t mean she loves you any less; her brain is just changing.”
7. Create Opportunities for Bonding
Even though memory loss changes how a family member interacts, there are still ways for your child to connect with them. Encourage your child to do things that they can both enjoy, even if the activities look different now.
Ideas for bonding activities:
- Looking through old family photo albums: This can help trigger memories for your elderly family member and gives your child a chance to share stories.
- Doing simple tasks together: Ask your child to help their family member with simple, everyday things, like folding laundry or watering plants.
- Playing music: Music often helps bring back memories, and listening to songs can be a calming activity for everyone.
8. Encourage Empathy and Understanding
Finally, help your child develop empathy by encouraging them to put themselves in their elderly family member’s shoes. Ask questions like:
- “How would you feel if you forgot things all the time?”
- “What do you think would make Grandma feel better when she’s confused?”
This helps your child see the situation from another perspective and motivates them to be more compassionate in their actions.
Conclusion: Guiding Your Child Through Compassionate Care
Teaching your child how to treat an elderly family member with dementia is an important lesson in compassion, patience, and love. By helping them understand what dementia is, showing them how to interact with kindness, and encouraging empathy, you’re giving them the tools to build strong, meaningful relationships with their family—no matter how memory loss may change things.
And remember, your child is learning from how you treat their elderly family member. Lead by example, and together you can create a loving, supportive environment for everyone.